His last walk continued
by Lalaloopsy176
Summary: ...
1. Chapter 1

We stood in bed and held each other so close so tight we kissed over and over my fingers stroked her long beautiful chocolate brown hair staring into her eyes "i..." the words choked me i hated myself for not telling her how i felt i looked down i thought i had to i just had to "i love you lulu" she placed her hand on my cheek

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><p>and kissed my lips "i love you too raphael" "i love you lulu because you made me feel alive you brought life back into me your the only one that loves me" i cried on her chest she petted my head softly "i love you because i share the same pain you do" she said sadly i looked up at her with confusion "what?" she<p>

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><p>continued petting me "my mother.." she said "my mother is not a mother to me i hate her and she hates me she never wanted me in the first place my father did" she cried just like..just like me i thought how could someone so beautiful so perfect could know such agonizing pain such as i have "my father would beat on<p>

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><p>me when i was younger i hate my parents my brother joe is too protective of me my brother romeo is the only normal one i was mistreated by my family" she started to cry i kissed her tears away we got out of bed got dressed before we walked out i hugged her "will you be my girlfriend lulu" i asked "i'd love to" she said<p>

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><p>with a smile we finished my birthday had dinner had a cake for the first time romeo got me model cars i knew my life has just started here or so i thought the next morning i have made plans for me and my girlfriend to go on our first date she seemed more excited then i was later that day i got my driver's license<p>

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><p>never thought it would be that easy i was lucky it was a woman working on that day when i came home my step brother romeo was so excited about me getting my license he had given me the keys to his ride around car 2003 ford mustang triple black i was overly excited romeo had asked me to repair his car just a tune up<p>

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><p>is all it needed me and him got along extremely well i had taught him what i knew about cars i thought to myself i wonder if one day this guy will be my brother in law instead of my step brother after we finished we walked into the kitchen for a drink "man that's so cool you knowing about cars so much" he said "where's<p>

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><p>lulu?" i asked he looked at him as if i said something bad "raph why are you always asking about her nevermind that why are you always with her" he said with a tone that almost had burned my insides "me and lulu share a special bond" i said he looked at me very suspicious "did you fuck her" he said with a<p>

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><p>strong tone "what? no" i said so nervously "are you sure? because from what i heard sounded like you did don't lie to me i won't get mad" i gazed at him for a moment "i did romeo i love her she's my girlfriend" he looked at me disappointed "i have nothing to say about this a step brother and sister to fall in love it ain't right man" he walked away and shook his head i didn't know what to think at that point i left to look for lulu<p>

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><p>i walked passed the bath room hearing someone vomit it sounded like lulu but was not sure i waited to see who it was she walked out slowly holding her precious little belly "lulu what's wrong?" i panicked "it's nothing don't worry" she said her voice was exhausted i picked her up and carried her to her bedroom placed her gently on the bed to rest "can i get you anything?" i asked "no i'm fine i just need to make a quick call i'll be<p>

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><p>ready shortly for our date" she said "okay i'm just worried i'll check on you shortly i love you" i said with all of my heart my heart.. i felt the hole in my heart has closed as we walked out the door romeo had gazed at us me and romeo had looked eye to eye i said with my lips thank you i thanked him for giving me a chance<p>

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><p>for not being mad i thanked him for quite afew reasons i shut the door behind me joe had joined romeo in the kitchen for a drink "romes i don't like this so called brother of ours" joe said romeo had a look on his face of guilt "romes?" he asked "hm? oh yes i like him he's cool.." "why do i got a feeling that you know<p>

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><p>something that i don't" joe muttered "because your stupid joe" he said joe had grabbed romeo at his collar and literally lifted him from his seat and pulled him over the table knocking trays of food everywhere romeo struggled to break free from joe's grip "tell me what you know!" he shouted "now!" "raphael and lulu are<p>

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><p>lovers!" romeo yelled joe had threw his brother on the ground rushed to the front door waiting anxiously for my return we pulled up in the drive way before me and lulu got out i leaned over to kiss her i loved the feel of her pretty pink lips against mine as i drew myself back lulu had slipped over to my side and kissed me<p>

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><p>her fingers running through my cold black hair i was pale that night lulu was white as snow but had a special glow to her we kissed for a long moment "i love you" she said "i love you more" i said with a wide grin she laughed as we got out of the car i thought why was it so dark? why wasn't the lights on? i was almost afraid to walk in lulu opened the door as we walked in the lights had suddenly turned on joe had<p>

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><p>pushed lulu away knocking her to the floor grabbed my shirt i couldn't think my mind went a thousand different ways my eyes widen my heart pounding i was truly lost "don't you ever go near my sister again!" he shouted at me i shot a glance at lulu romeo had helped her rise from the ground as lulu held her stomach<p>

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><p>i thought how could he do that to her? him being six foot three he could crush a little seventy two pound little girl joe was truly a monster i was luck he didn't attack me i ran to my room romeo had helped lulu into her's afew moments later i heard a small knock on my door i stood up against my headboard "raph?" i heard romeo's voice a sigh a relief 'why did you tell him?" i urged romeo had sat on my bed "raph" he sighed "i had<p>

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><p>no choice he attacked me" i gasped abit "i'm sorry for snapping romeo i didn't know" i said he had his arm around me "don't worry about it get some sleep" he said with a smirk as romeo left i shut my eyes thinking how i should warm up to joe i had a plan but all went down hill i have not spoken to lulu in three weeks one day i knocked on her door softly "yes?" she said sobbing i rushed to hold her "why are you crying?" i<p>

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><p>panicked poor lulu was crying so bad on me i didn't know what else to do but hold her and kiss her tears away "raphael i'm pregnant with your baby" she cried not one word came out of me i was in a shock i thought for a moment she's pregnant.. with my child. No this couldn't be happening a thousand thoughts flew through my head i was too young to be a father lulu what would happen to lulu her being so small how<p>

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><p>could she go through child birth? not being strong enough for it i shook my head no no no! i ran out of her room into the living room i headed for the front door suddenly i felt a strong grasp on my hair that jerked me back as i went back it was joe i knew i was going to die right there and then joe had slammed me up against the wall not one not two but three times i swore my back was broken "i know you did it! you got her<p>

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><p>pregnant!" he screamed my eyes widen so much blinking a thousand times in a heartbeat next thing i know his fist was aimed for my face he repeatedly hit my face more then twenty times i thought i was going to die i heard a sudden yell "don't kill him! that's enough! keep him in the basement" chester had said joe's grip still in my hair i felt i had no face anymore next thing i know joe picked me up and literally threw me down<p>

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><p>the basement shut and locked the door i knew my back was broken my shoulder had been badly sprained from falling on the cement steps i stood there in agonizing pain i went unconscious eight hours later i have awaken in a hospital i looked around panicked i seen lulu and romeo had rush to me "raphael!" lulu cried "raph are you alright?' romeo panicked i barely could see them i was left with broken shoulder sprained knee<p>

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><p>two black eyes a broken nose along with a badly bruised face i couldn't speak i wanted to cry but i didn't instead i tried to sit up romeo helped lulu had softly kissed my face all over "can you talk?" romeo asked "a little" i barely spoke "good because i need to talk to you" he ordered "my mother and father wants lulu to have this baby and since your the father you are to pay child support if you do not wed" he said i was too weak to say anything instead i cried i didn't want to be a father at only thirteen i wasn't ready for marriage at this point i wished joe had ended my life<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Ten days later after i had gotten out of the hospital i seem to have alot better only my arm was in a cast ever since then nancy and especially joe had kept me away from lulu one day i went to naya's house seeking advice i wondered what it'd be like being a father at thirteen years old i didn't like that idea at all of

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><p>course i wasn't going to walk out on my kid like my father did but i still didn't want it i understood how my mother felt it must have been hard on her i didn't blame her for hating me i thought i arrived at naya's house i walked in i seen naya was on the phone with one of her mother's customers so i sat on the sofa and waited as naya hung up the phone before i could say anything she had quickly caught on as to what<p>

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><p>went on "you got her knocked up didn't you and you thought you could just walk right in here thinking i could make everything better" she said i looked away and bit my bottom lip "i'll leave n-" "you came to the right place " she said with a wink i had a small smirk on but it faded quickly "what am i to do" i asked bitterly naya walked around abit thinking what to tell me "have her get rid of the baby" she said "what?" "you say<p>

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><p>that alot kid your not stupid" "how do you know" i asked "for one your french' she said smiling "second your going to stay with me for afew weeks you'll pick up whatever i do" i looked at the floor to my right for a moment "what is she doesn't want to get rid of the baby?" i asked "simple you get rid of it" "how?" i asked "cause her a miscarriage "what?" "stop saying that! man up" i swallowed the lump in my throat thinking if<p>

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><p>she was going to strike me "how do i cause a miscarriage" "alot of ways how far along is she" she asked "three weeks" i said in reply naya running her fingers through her hair mumbling "that little whore at only thirteen" naya looked sad for a moment i wanted to ask what was wrong but i didn't "have you ever hit a woman before and don't you dare say what" she said "no i have not i am, not about to lay a finger on lulu<p>

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><p>so get that out of your head" i said with fierce naya looked at me for a moment "i told you that you wasn't stupid you knew exactly what i was thinking" i looked away i felt an urge to cry next thing i knew tears were falling down naya wiped my tears away and kissed my forehead "don't cry everything will be okay i hope if you won't hurt her then ask her if she will give up the baby if she says no your only way out is to cause her a miscarriage however it is up to you do what you think is best you came here for advice and i told you i<p>

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><p>better be going now my boyfriend will be here any minute we'll talk later" she promised i thanked her and went home before i walked into the house i seen my step father was on his way to work and stopped me in my track "you listen here boy i brought you in my family to make my daughter happy don't even think about talking to her again street rat" he said as he pushed me aside i thought to myself i need to get her alone to<p>

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><p>talk with her if only laura was here she would have helped alot i wished laura had not left this life before i went looking for lulu i looked around the house to make sure joe was no where near i sighed in relief he had went to town with romeo nancy was in master bedroom watching the home and garden channel i thought to myself as pretty as lulu was it was extremely hard to believe that woman was her mother i<p>

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><p>shook my head in disgust i walked to lulu's room it was a pretty far walk knowing how big that house was i knocked softly on lulu's door "yes come on" she cried i rushed to her to see who could have put those bruises on her face and arm my arm was in a holder so i could only touch her face with one hand "who did this to you" i asked furiously "joe i told him not to hit me when i'm pregnant but he didn't care" she cried i<p>

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><p>rubbed her face softly followed by a soft kiss on her cheek "he is not to hit you at all let alone when your carrying a child" she began to cry on me as we layed in bed i thought about naya's advice i wondered if lulu wanted this child i sat up to look at her "lulu do you even want this baby?" i asked she looked up at me with<p>

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><p>her eyes "don't you?" she replied "lulu i do not want to be a father at such a young age i will never walk out on my kid but i don't want to face that type of responsibility right now lulu" i said with hesitation lulu stood up with a look in her eyes that almost scared me "i'm having this baby raphael and no one is going to stop me if you don't want no part of it then that's your problem" she said as she got up for a drink of water i walked over to hold her from behind "i never said i don't want any part of my child" i softly whispered in her<p>

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><p>ear my hand placed gently on her stomach both her hands followed she turned around to look at me we gazed at each other for a brief moment soon we kissed softly "i love you raphael" she said with a soft tone "i love you too" i replied "you know they say a when a woman is pregnant is when her true beauty comes out something in her face changes" she said with a small smile i looked at her with pity "your not a woman<p>

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><p>your only thirteen and i really think we should think about this" i said she walked away from me with an attitude i followed "why are you walking away from me?" i demanded she didn't reply just looking out the window as if i hadn't said a word "answer me" she turned to look "i want this baby and that's it now get out" she shouted i suddenly felt abit irritated by her words "i will not get out i am the father of this unborn<p>

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><p>child it's my rights as well as it is yours" my tone of voice had became louder she looked away "just because your mother didn't want you doesn't give you any reason to do what she did" she muttered i suddenly felt my anger swell why was i feeling this urge to strike "what did you say" i shouted she looked at me with fear as she walked away from me again i felt my anger rise i began to charge my hand had grasped her hair<p>

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><p>"what are you doing!" she yelled i pulled her back throwing her on the floor she attempt to get up i quickly threw a front kick to her facing knocking her down my rage had taken over me i couldn't stop i seen blood in my eyes i began kicking her all over her rib cage stomach and back why couldn't i stop her yelling of agonizing pain did not stop the only words i heard was in my head die..die die! i had unleashed my rage on<p>

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><p>the one i love the most i had finally stopped catching my breath my face was still in rage i couldn't shake it suddenly she began to bleed screaming in pain my face had suddenly formed into sadness my rage had left me i stood there gazing at her thinking what have i done! i began to cry "what have i done!" i shouted my eyes shifting left to right not knowing what to do lulu had rolled up in a little ball holding her self in pain<p>

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><p>yelling and crying there was no way she was going to get up after that i rushed out the room creaming nancy's name "nancy!" i screamed i ran to look for her all over the house "nancy!" i cried nancy was no where to be found i thought maybe she had been outside i rushed to search for her i found her outside<p>

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><p>smoking a cigarette "nancy!" i rushed to her 'lulu! she's she's! lulu it's lulu come quick!" i panicked nancy did not follow "nancy? come quick!" "i do not care what happened now please leave me be" i shot her a look of what the hell is wrong with you i rushed quickly to the nearest telephone i called the police and they arrived afew moments after i had hanged up the telephone the paramedics had taken lulu to the emergency i i had<p>

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><p>no way of going there my car had been taken from me the paramedics wouldn't take me with them the police had no interest as of to escort me i had panicked not knowing what to do there was only one way to get there i ran as fast as i could to follow that ambulance my shoulder had soon started to act up but i had not cared one bit about myself i had finally reached the hospital i looked around to where people were<p>

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><p>checking in "pa-please! help l-lulu valentine!" i panicked the woman had got some pages out "now calm down son let me see here" she looked through the forms "oh yes miscarriage have a seat and the nurse will attend to you shortly" she said i had slowly backed away from the window my eyes filled with tears i sat down in the waiting room gazing at the floor thinking what have i done i killed my unborn child and hurt the love of my life what have i become my hand over my eyes covering so no one would see my tears one hour<p>

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><p>went by i had fallen asleep on the chair "sir sir?" she shook me "where is she is she okay!" i yelled "sir please lower your voice right this way" i followed the nurse to room 109 i seen her in bed she pulled her legs up a scared look on her face i would never have thought that the one i loved the most would be terrified of me i thought for a moment i couldn't hold her without being relaxed i couldn't kiss her without her<p>

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><p>being on edge thinking that i would strike her any second our relationship would never be the same again i couldn't live with myself knowing i made her fear me i slowly walked towards her she began to moan with fright i stopped and held in my breath we glared at each other she relaxed a little i felt that i could move<p>

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><p>towards her as i did slowly my eyes met hers both our eyes were filled with aching tears "i'm so sorry" i whispered under my breath our eyes still locked against each others lulu had placed her hand over and mouth and slightly gasped which led to crying "i'm so s-" "i don't ever want to talk to or see you again"she cried i broke down in tears "i made a promise to you that you are never to go to an orphanage ever again<p>

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><p>i'm keeping that promise tell no one of this raphael just keep away from me i can't be your girlfriend after this i-" 'just kill and and get it over it" i walked out the room "raph wait!" she cried i walked back in to hear what she had to say before i was going to die "i will always love you no one will take your place all i'm saying is we should have a brother sister relationship" she what! i thought there was no way i could love<p>

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><p>her as my sister after making a baby with her she wanted me to be her brother? but i thought if i didn't agree to it i would lose her for good i nodded and walked out after we went home we had a long talk with romeo he agreed and i never spoke to lulu valentine for the longest time two months went by i tried talking to her as she wanted a brother i have done what she wanted have brother sister conversions brother sister<p>

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><p>shopping movies dinners nothing she did not even want to lay eyes on me nancy had move me to the basement as if i was some kind of beast i had no bed nothing to place my clothes in i was not allowed to go anywhere do anything no friends no days out nothing after two years i have changed alot i was not kind anymore i was not caring anymore i began to feel anger more then i should i had a quick temper i had<p>

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><p>become brutally fierce after two years of not talking to lulu i thought to myself i shouldn't have to listen to nancy chester or joe it was my life i could do whatever the fuck i wanted fuck was word i often used in the past i rarely used it i couldn't understand why one day i had snuck out the basement window and walked to naya's house i've seen here now and then had sex afew times i felt as if naya had become a friend not a<p>

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><p>good one though i was now fifteen years old standing six foot three my weight stayed the same i couldn't get past one hundred and twenty pounds i looked like a walking stick i thought to myself i needed a change so naya's place was the way to go anyone who crossed my path would dream they didn't i opened naya's window and jumped in she was laying down in her bed reading a magazine "what gives raph" she asked "a<p>

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><p>new look" i demanded "so you finally took my advice to start doing something with your life" she tossed me a cigarette light "yes i have" i took one of her cigarettes out of it's pack naya looked at me thinking what to do first "well first we need to cut and color your hair the red roots are coming out" she muttered she put on plastic gloves and prepared for my piercings i sat back on one of her chairs "what would you like" she asked<p>

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><p>"everything" i said with a smirk naya had applied two lip rings three nose rings three black stud earrings on both my earlobes two rings on the top of both my ears i had after she was done she grabbed a mirror "what do you think' she handed me the small mirror i didn't want to look i paused for a moment "i'm not done" she smiled we went to another chair for her to do my hair she first had colored it midnight black with<p>

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><p>light green at the ends of my hair she handed me a book of styles i went through them and saw nothing i liked she looked disappointed "how about if i try something" she asked i nodded she cut and styled my hair the style was a little passed my neckline the top was spiked forming in a diagonal upright the spikes were long the front of my hair was parted to the left side five inches passed my jaw hair also hanged down on<p>

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><p>the right side after my hair was done she started on my face my eyes were covered in black make up i was dressed in long baggy black pants with chains and rings crossing both sides a black t-shirt with words on the front side heart in the back showed a black and red heart with cuts that said less i had applied rings to<p>

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><p>my shoes black and white converse with green rings i gazed at myself in the mirror and thought now i'm ready to take on the world<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

After i got done with naya i went home for lunch i sat on the counter top eating a sandwich suddenly lulu had walked in for a drink of water i have not seen her in so long i thought the older she got the more beautiful she was her beauty was not to be believed her faced had matured she was drop dead gorgeous

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><p>my step sister had looked just like actress megan fox more beautiful i thought she had the perfect body perfect sized breast she was shaped as a hour glass hips butt in shape beautiful perfect legs her feet stayed the same size tiny tiny as could be she stood five foot one only ninety two pounds but had a figure that was to die for her hair was a little lighter then from when i last seen her down to her breast styled<p>

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><p>down with waves full of volume the her make up was perfect she wore a light pink cotton dress six inches above the knee with white ballet flats word ugly never existed when it came to lulu valentine i thought to myself wow i fucked that many times and now it's like i never even had the chance to smell her cologne she looked at me with surprised eyes "raph is that you?" she asked i shot her a look with eyes set to kill "yeah<p>

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><p>what the fuck do you want preppy bitch" she looked very sad her eyes almost filled with tears "you look really good for a emo style" she said in a sad tone "you got so tall can i see?" i got off the counter and stood right in front of her i had towered her i looked down on her with a look of hate she looked up at me<p>

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><p>as she started to back up slowly her eyes full of fear i followed her as she walked backwards slowly she backed into the wall my hands placed up against the wall blocking her she started to breathe with fear still glaring at me i slowly put my mouth to her ear "you are drop dead gorgeous" i whispered and slammed my hands against the wall lulu got startled and gasped a little i brought my face closer to her's the hair in my<p>

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><p>face my our lips were inches apart her eyes soon filled with tears i took my hands off the wall and walked away i decided to go for a walk to think i stopped by a local auto auto repair shop to look around i seen a overweight man was under a pick up truck repairing something he tried reaching for his tool but couldn't i<p>

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><p>handed him what he needed he didn't seem to notice me he reached for another i handed it to him only this time he felt my hand and came out from under "didn't see you there buddy thanks" i nodded "what are you fixing anyway" i asked he explained he couldn't seem to get it fixed "can i try?" i asked "i don't see why not"<p>

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><p>he replied frustrated i managed to fix the problem that had frustrated the overweight man "slap me with a kansas city pickle how did you do that?" he asked surprised "i just know alot about cars i guess" i said in reply the man looked at me curiously "i have another car that needs repair you mind doing it for me i'll pay<p>

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><p>you" he said "no need to pay i would love to" i somehow knew the man didn't want me doing for his sake he simply wanted to know just how much i knew about cars he explained what needed to be done i nodded and started to work on the car the man carefully watched me after i got done he took a look and then shot<p>

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><p>a glance at me "you did a very good job" he said with surprised i nodded and walked away "wait hold on young man" he called "how old are you" he asked i didn't know if i should lie "fifteen sir" "fifteen well you are gifted young man what is your name" he asked "raphael" "how would you like a job here raphael were always looking for good mechanics" he said i felt my heart did flips the job i always dreamed of this wasn't<p>

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><p>happening no way i slapped myself to see if i was dreaming but i wasn't "what do you require for hire" i asked with excitement "good skills like yours that's all you need kid" he said with a laugh "when do i start?" i asked "next monday six am" i jumped with excitement and shouted "yes sir see you then!" instead of<p>

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><p>walking i ran to where i was going next when i reached the mall i stopped and took a deep breath i took out my pack of cigarettes got one out and lit it i looked around for a moment suddenly i seen a guy walking towards me "hey can i buy a cigarette off you?" he asked i shook my head and had given him one "thanks man cool hair" he said "yeah you too" i replied i thought to myself this guy looks just like me we had the<p>

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><p>same eyes the same nose the same bone structure he had one lip ring and a nose ring his hair was cold black so black almost blue he had almost the same style as i did only the front of his hair was abit shorter he wore blue jeans a white tank top red and white converse he stood just as tall as i did he was almost as thin as i was "hey i'm looking for someone to buy this pup you think you might be interested?" he muttered i<p>

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><p>knew he wasn't american from his accent i thought for a moment if i got a puppy what would i do with it i always wanted a dog 'can i look at it?" i asked he nodded we walked to his car and took the little puppy out it was a male siberian husky he was no older then eight weeks his fur was black on top white at the bottom two black spots on both his eyes his eyes were almost as bright as mine only blue instead of green he<p>

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><p>handed me the little puppy i grabbed him with one hand holding him up the puppy wouldn't sit still i held him up against my chest he started licking my hands "he's pretty cute how much" i asked "no charge if you like him take him" he said i nodded and thanked him for the little puppy "where are you from?" he asked "here" i said petting the little puppy he looked at me with a smirk "i mean where do you come from" he said "does it<p>

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><p>really matter where i'm from" i said in reply he laughed "i would like to know then again do i matter in this world" my eyebrows raised at his reply i thought this guy seems smart "do we all matter" he laughed abit loudly "you got me there your smooth what's your name" he asked "raphael you?" "leon how old are you?" he asked "fifteen" i said as i looked away he stared at me for a brief moment "i like your attitude kid you<p>

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><p>look just like me in some ways" i looked at him curiously "i know i paid attention to that when i first seen you by the way my middle name is leon" he laughed "mine is too" i looked at him with confusion "my first name is alexander middle leon last tally you must be french" he said "i am" i replied he looked away " i am russian" he continued he handed me a note i opened the note to look "what is this?' i pursued "it's an address come tonight at nine pm i will be there early so you won't need to wait for me" he said i nodded<p>

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><p>and thanked him again i had plans on going to the mall but instead i head home to take my new puppy dog i thought to myself i wonder what lulu will think when she sees him i shook my head for a moment i have not thought about lulu in so long i don't want her in my head anymore i also wondered about leon i didn't want friends after what happened to billy i couldn't bare losing another friend is i got close to them i arrived home<p>

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><p>before i got a chance to open the door romeo had already did so he took a step back "raphael! is that you?" he asked in surprised "yes romeo" i said with a laugh "wow you look awesome bro" he said i thanked him and continued my way i was in the basement and had placed the puppy down i thought he was so cute i never knew i had a soft spot for animals i decided to name him calypso i played with him for a little calypso<p>

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><p>made me feel abit of joy he had fallen asleep after we played i had no bed of my own just a pillow i picked up calypso and placed him on the pillow for him to sleep i walked up the stairs no one was in the house or so i thought as i made my way to the kitchen i found lulu in her bra and panties it stunned me for a moment she began to cover herself when she seen me " oh i'm so sorry raph i was just getting my laundry since i<p>

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><p>had run out of clothes" she said i have not replied my eyes were focused on her beautiful body how i wanted her i suddenly had the urge for sex although i had told myself i didn't want to bother with lulu anymore but she always had turned me on she walked pass me to her room i turned around then soon followed her i busted down her door i found her laying in her bed still no clothes on i knew right there and<p>

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><p>then i wanted her "what are you doing in my room" she said with a tone of fear again i had no reply i walked toward her undressing myself i got in bed with her then soon grasped her hair she started to panicked our faces were inches apart "don't worry i won't hurt you i will make you scream though" i said i<p>

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><p>quickly had kissed her softly oh how i missed her lips i missed touching her i knew she missed me as well she put her arms around me as we kissed we layed back me on top of her we kissed over and over and over "i missed you so much raphael" she said with a whisper we moved our arms our legs turning ourselves<p>

* * *

><p>to each other drawing each other deeper and deeper with every kiss every touch i closed out all thoughts and left me longing for me inside her our moans mingled she dug her fingers into my shoulders she began to moan louder and louder my mouth was at her ear "let me hear you scream baby" i whispered this time i went deeper and harder a loud long piercing scream had came from lulu "yes baby that's it" i whispered<p>

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><p>again we came at each other like the love starved people we were desperate for a loving touch when it was over i got out of her dripping some we collapsed in a exhaustion both gasping for breathe neither able to speak "i don't love you i love using your body for my sexual pleasures" i said with a smirk and an eye of sarcasm tears began to fill her eyes i didn't know why but i liked seeing her hurt before i couldn't stand it now i live for it<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

After i got dressed i seen her lay there in her bed on her side i heard her crying a cry i haven't heard from her a cry of heartbreak i suddenly felt bad that told me i hated hurting her i walked toward the bed and leaned over to her "i'm kidding" i said softly she turned to look at me i kissed her tears away "you know i love you i always have and i always will" i said she began to cry on me "why are you crying?" i asked

* * *

><p>"because i missed you so much and when you cursed me and said awful things to me it just hurt so bad we haven't talked in so long i just-" i kissed her softly "i'm sorry i didn't mean to" i said she looked at me touching my bottom lip with her dainty little finger "you changed raphael" she said with a soft hurtful tone i<p>

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><p>kissed her little finger "i love you i love every inch of you" i said "i love you too but-" "but what?" i demanded " we are not allowed to love each other raph we went through this before" she said i felt my temper rise "i know we have i thought you would forget that by now lulu i want you back" i said with a fierce tone "after what you did to raph how can i trust you?" she said i looked at her for a moment "so you don't want to get<p>

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><p>back together do you" "we can't raph we just can't" she cried i closed my eyes took a deep breath next thing i know i strike her again only this time i went full force after i had slapped her knocking her to the floor i got on top of her striking her fist after fist after fist i put my hands around her neck and began to tighten my grip i knew i wouldn't kill her i wanted her to suffer after i let go i grasped her hair once more and hit her<p>

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><p>once more hard and strong i had left her unconscious i went to the basement to check on calypso after i had done so i touched up myself it was nearly nine o clock on my way to the party i thought about what i had done to lulu i tried to get myself to not feel so bad i shook my head and walked into a house that seemed<p>

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><p>abit small maybe it was just me being used to my house alot of people was there everyone dancing drinking i looked around for leon i found him sitting on the sofa by himself "hey you made it how are you?" he asked "i could be alot better" i replied "we all could but hey that's life" he said with a wink the music was loud i seen alot of people there that had my style this one girl i had seem to like her hair was blond and big it<p>

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><p>looked like the way naya had fixed her hair this girl had a bow on the right side of her hair her looks were fair nothing special decent i suppose she wore a black tutu a gray tank top striped long socks with black and white converse i couldn't make up my mind if i had liked her "go ask her name" leon had said abit loud i nodded i walked up to the girl with a smirk on my face seeing her widen her eyes after taking one look at<p>

* * *

><p>me i thought to myself i was a lady killer "hey you sexy" she said "hey me sexy" i replied with sarcasm after afew minutes of talking i had her wrapped around my finger i could get any girl that i wanted she had to leave early so i couldn't spend much time with her i went back to where leon had stayed "here try this" he handed me a drink the first time i had ever tried alcohol one after another i have had atleast twenty seven<p>

* * *

><p>drinks that night was my first time getting drunk after i got drunk me and leon soon got up to dance i wasn't much of a dancer but i loved the music they were playing it was just me and leon all the way through no one else had joined us my guess was no one liked leon so he came to this party knowing i would be here so he wouldn't be alone i didn't want any friends anymore but i somehow knew me and leon were bounded to be<p>

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><p>brothers after we danced we got more drinks we sat down talking i told him about my life and how i got here he told me about his after hearing how horribly leon had suffered i took pity on him he reminded me so much of myself my mother had abandoned me his would beat on him i had no father he wished he had no father knowing leon was twenty four years old didn't bother at all the more i knew about him the closer i got to him leon stopped drinking i thought i should too after we sobered up leon had promised me he would take me home leon had explained that his corvette was the car he often used it was black on the inside and<p>

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><p>out 2001 corvette i had dreamed of a car like that leon was a good driver his only problem he didn't know how to have fun with fast cars i explained to leon how to drive it for fun all he did was nod "thanks for party leon i enjoyed it" i said "no thank you rapheh for not leaving me alone" he said keeping his eyes on the<p>

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><p>road "rapheh?" i asked laughing "yeah your my little bro now so i give you pet name" he said i nodded at that point i was very happy i met leon we arrived at my house as he pulled up to the front of the house we seen lulu outside smoking a cigarette "who is that?" leon asked i looked away for a moment "that's my sister" i mumbled "what's her name?" he asked "why don't you ask her" i said with a smirk and winked we<p>

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><p>got out of the car and made our towards the door leon stopped to talk to lulu i stayed to hear what he had to say "i'm sorry for staring as i did your just so beautiful" leon said lulu blushed "thank you" leon eyed her up and down lulu wore butt shorts and a long sweater with ballet flats leon had on black baggy pants with chains on both sides a white shirt with a collar and a red tie i thought they would make a very odd couple<p>

* * *

><p>"what is your name beautiful" leon asked lulu shot a glance at me "lulu" she said "how wonderful i'm leon" lulu had giggled acting all cute and blushing flipping her hair i knew lulu had liked leon very much leon had notice the bruises on lulu's face but have not said anything through the door leon had seen the way joe had<p>

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><p>looked at me "he doesn't look very friendly why don't you stay at my place tonight" leon offered i nodded i walked in to get my dog and came back outside lulu wanted to see my puppy so badly she had a strong love for animals but i didn't even look at her "well i guess we better be going" leon said to lulu "okay good night leon" she kissed him softly on his cheek "good night raph" she looked at me i said nothing i continued<p>

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><p>to walk towards the car as we got in the car i had held calypso and started to pet him leon applying his seatbelt "what happen to that beautiful little thing" he asked i looked away "someone beat on her" i said in reply leon shook his head "who would hurt a little thing so beautiful as that" he said "a monster" i mumbled "thanks for letting me stay at your place leon" i said "no problem kiddo was that your brother i seen he<p>

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><p>looks very mean" leon said "he's my step brother and he is mean he nearly killed me i rather talk about it another time i also have another brother and a younger sister she's only seven though" he nodded we were silent for afew moments "would you mind if i ask your sister lulu out?" he asked i felt my heart at my<p>

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><p>throat "what? no go for it" i lied how would i accept the fact that my new best friend was about to ask lulu out then i thought why do i care she doesn't want me anyway maybe she'll be happy with leon i tried getting that thought out of my head by putting on some music we finally reached leon's house as we walked in i seen a woman making out with a young boy leon had quickly cover my eyes with his hand we walked<p>

* * *

><p>into his room leon had fixed him a bed on the floor letting me sleep in his bed for tonight i thanked him we stayed up late talking about everything i told him everything that had happen to me i suddenly felt a urge to cry i began to cry leon watching me suddenly i screamed so loud i went in panic mode i couldn't stop screaming my hands against my head screaming as loud as i could crying screaming could not stop leon<p>

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><p>rushed to hold me holding my head trying to calm me down it wasn't doing him any good he open a bag he opened my mouth and shoved a pill down my throat i gasped for air calming down some afew minutes later i had calmed down "you had a mental break down didn't you" he asked i didn't know what he meant "i get those sometimes do you take any medicine" he shook my head 'you have major depression raphael you<p>

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><p>need to be on medication for it" he demanded "what?" i asked "i will take you to the doctor tomorrow they will help you alot what i had given you was a relaxer it calms you down from any mood swings" he said leon had explained to me that i may have a mental problem and symptoms i will experience i soon fell asleep afew hours later i had awaken in the middle of the night with the same attack leon once again had given me that same pill the next morning leon had taken me to his doctor the doctor said i needed to be on three<p>

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><p>types of medicine one for depression one for sleep and one to relax me if i had ever gotten one of those horrible attacks i had a feeling that wasn't the last time i would have attacks like that i thanked leon for everything he was a good man that night leon had taken me home lulu rushed to us "where was you i was so worried" she cried i said nothing "don't worry beautiful he was in good hands" leon said proudly "lulu will you go out with me" leon asked lulu had blushed a thousand times as she answered him yes leon and lulu<p>

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><p>had gone out for the night i stayed home thinking what to do now that i have serious issues suddenly i heard someone coming down the stairs there was no light to see who it was the next thing i know i was hit in the face i knew it had to be joe i panicked joe had pushed me up against the wall his fists at my face and body i suddenly broke free of his lock i tried to run for my life he then grabbed me by the hair so hard i<p>

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><p>screamed so loud and fell backwards my hair still in his hand i suddenly felt his fist slammed so hard against my back buried his fist in my back it was as if a spear had went through me i screamed my lungs out of the pain he had a stronger grip on my hair pushed me against the wall and placed a gun directly to my forehead my eyes had widen my jaw dropped i knew for sure i was going to die teasing me with the gun against my<p>

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><p>head i couldn't breathe my heart was exploding out of my chest suddenly i heard nancy calling joe's name he let go of me and put the gun away as he walked up the stairs he turn to look at me "you an angel was at your side today" he said as he continued my back to the wall i slowly had slid down the wall my hands against my head my face stood the same i had went into a mental shock<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

I stood there panicking fear had taken over me of all the times i wanted to die it was now

after all i had been through it wasn't enough someone somewhere had wanted me to suffer more

i felt my life wasting away why was this happening to me was this how i would die? is this

how it would end? would i ever see lulu again before i die? i layed there waiting to die

i closed my eyes and waited i stayed awake for four hours nothing all i felt was extreme pain

and suffering i heard a noise but i could not get up to see what it was i continued laying

there until i heard joe's voice "raphael my sweet sweet little brother" he said coming towards me

my eyes widen with fear it was hard to breathe the tears were like a water fall i thought for

a moment why was i so afraid to die? it has been what i wanted for so long why was i so scared?

it was because this is not how i wanted to die i did not want to be murdered especially by joe

joe was inches from me he then kicked my rib cage followed by spiting on me i had screamed

in pain the pain was unbearable he had picked up a hammer and bashed my knee i screamed hysterically

i could not stop screaming crying i wanted him to kill me to end my suffering he had to kneel down

at my face "how does that feel it feels good doesn't it" he whispered i continued with my screams

and cries "i don't see how my sister could ever love a disgusting thing like you

i don't see how anyone could love a thing like you your mother was smart by getting rid of you"

he said i had been stunned by those words i couldn't take any of his torment any longer

"just kill me i can't take it anymore kill me now" i barely spoke joe had a gun aimed to my head

this was it this was going to be the end of me "i like your hair" he said running the gun through

my hair slowly "i'm not going to kill you just yet seeing you suffer amuses me" he said bitterly

he had grabbed the hammer again aimed it at my head to get the perfect head shot no this is not

how i wanted to die he began raising the hammer it was coming down inches from my head i had enough

strength to move then quickly i rise to run my knee had been badly damaged but that wasn't going to

keep me down i had run up the stairs everything was dark it had been storming i called for help

everyone's name no one was home as i was running for the front door a gun shot had fired i knew

if i tried getting out that front door i would have been shot i ran around the corner and hided behind

the wall everything was so dark the only light i had was the thunder storms my back against the wall

trembling like i have never trembled before i slowly turned trembling to see if joe was in site

nothing turned to the other side nothing i suddenly heard another gun shot

"i'm going emo hunting tonight" he yelled with excitement i couldn't move my body had given up

i was done suddenly i heard the front door open "what the hell is going on here?" lulu said lulu! i thought she could save me!

joe quickly covered her mouth not knowing she had gone out on a date i suddenly heard a gun click i turned to see what had went on

it was leon with a double barrel shot gun aimed at joe's head "let her go" leon said joe pushed lulu on the floor to leon's feet

"drop the gun" leon demanded joe placed the pistol on the ground "where's the kid" leon asked with a fierce tone

"she is with my mother" joe replied "not the little girl raphael" leon said i walked out from behind "i'm here" i said

with exhaustion lulu had gasped so loud it frighten me abit lulu rushed to me holding me then quickly shot a glance at joe

"why did you do this to him you monster!" she shouted joe had run up to his room lulu and leon helping me into the car we soon

drove to the emergency room doctors took me right away i had over fifty stitches my knee had been badly damaged along with my spine

i needed oxygen three hours at the emergency leon and lulu had stayed with me in the room i had quickly fallen asleep from

exhaustion leon and lulu had stayed over night with me at the hospital i wished they had not i felt bad knowing they wouldn't leave

my side "leon why don't you home and get some rest" lulu suggested "i am not leaving my little brother and you here alone what i want to know is

what the hell happen and why is your brother is so psycho" leon said lulu looked down for a moment "joe has done something similar with my cousin

i need to keep joe away from raphael it's all my fault" she started to cry leon quickly held her in his arms i had awaken to see leon had my whole

world my everything in his arms i pretended to be asleep to hear what they were saying "don't cry it's not your fault raphael will get better i will

keep him with me from now on i would like you and him to stay with me for afew weeks if that's okay" he said

lulu looked up at him and had stopped crying "that's so nice of you i would like that very much i'm sure raph would too" she said lulu

suddenly had gotten cold leon attempt to take off his jacket to place on her but lulu had stopped him she cuddled up to him so close that he would

be able to zip up his jacket with her inside as well in the emergency room was the place were they had first kissed tears soon began to fill my eyes

it wasn't long before they had fallen asleep the next morning i felt a little better but still full with fear lulu had gone home to freshen up

and promised she would be back leon stayed with me until lulu had returned i looked at leon for a moment and thought he was a good friend if it wasn't

for him me and lulu would be dead by joe by now he asked if i wanted something or how i was feeling made small conversions i told him what happen with joe

he wanted to go kill him right there and then i told him not to because of lulu i would had loved leon to kill joe after that things were quiet for a moment

there was something i had to ask him but i didn't know if i should "you really like her don't you" i asked with exhaustion "yes i do very much i only hope she likes me"

he said with a smile "doesn't the age difference bother you at all?" i asked "not one bit i have told her for you and her to stay with me for afew weeks to let you heal

and for me and lulu to get to know each other better" he said i nodded i couldn't stand the thought of lulu being with leon or anyone for that matter she was mine she belong

to me i thought selfishly if i really loved lulu i would want her to be happy even if it wasn't with me "ask her to be your girlfriend leon" i mumbled leon looked surprised for

a moment "really bro? your right i will she stole my heart away bro" he said i nodded afew weeks went by and it was time for me and lulu to go home when we pulled up to the house

i began to panic thinking joe would do what he did last time as soon as me and lulu walked in joe had rushed to hug both of us i thought maybe this wasn't so bad we chat for afew moments i started to relax

lulu had went to her room to rest now that me and joe were alone i wanted to ask him why had he done such a horrible thing to me to not make any trouble i kept my mouth shut

no more then a minute later joe had slammed me up against the wall i panicked his hands were against the wall my eyes widen hard to breathe i wanted to cry for help but i couldn't

suddenly joe's hand started exploring my lower body his hand on my thigh moving all around touching my waist up to my rib cage up and down he then started to rub me slowly my head turned

against the wall crying heavy "you like when your touched don't you" he whispered in my ear "please stop i'm begging you" i said in a soft cry "i bet your mother would love to suck on you" he said as he stopped

and walked away i stayed up against the wall crying hysterically until lulu had found me she rushed to hold me "did he do something to you again" she asked my head against her breast crying i couldn't speak

i soon let out a piercing scream loud and shrill my arms around lulu my head against her i held on to her as if were holding on to my life lulu had began to pet me kissing my head rubbing my

shoulders keeping me calm crying screaming romeo had walked in to see what was all the screaming about lulu had told him to get my medicine romeo rushed for my medicine he passed joe shot him a look

of hate knowing he was the one that put me in a mental breakdown romeo had come and had given lulu what she asked lulu quickly placed the medicine in my mouth she had rose romeo helping me my grasp still on lulu

we walked to her room and then placed on her bed she stayed with me held me as if she would never let go she layed down holding me my head against her chest my arms wrapped around her our knees touched

lulu began petting me again kissing my head repeatedly "keep him calm lu i will be back in abit to check on him" romeo said as he walked out to search for joe when romeo had crossed paths with joe romeo

pined joe against the wall hitting him over and over and over he suddenly stopped to slam him against the wall "what did you do to him!" romeo yelled

"just had a little fun with him is all" joe said with a small smirk romeo hit him once more "he's just a kid! how could you be so psychotic joe!" romeo threw joe aside then brought up

a hot cup of tea for me i was fast asleep when romeo had arrived "how is he"romeo asked lulu petting me softly and placed a small kiss on my head "he's okay for now he's going to sleep

with me i want to make sure he's okay then i want to move him into a room romeo" lulu said in reply romeo looking at me for a brief moment "alright just don't tell mom and dad or they'll throw him out" lulu nodded

that night i had slept with lulu cuddling up to her holding her just as i would hold my mother lulu had given me a motherly touch motherly kisses a mother's love something i had longed for

i felt content that night i felt i had a mother to love me


	6. Chapter 6

Ever since that night i started treating lulu like my mother instead of my lover i still had deep feelings for her but i knew she didn't want to ever be with me again leon and lulu had build a good relationship i didn't like the idea of her telling leon she loved him but then i wondered if she only loved leon because he was so much like me leon was very much like me our only differences was he was older and i was younger we looked the

* * *

><p>same acted the same dressed the same but it still bothered me seeing her with him i kept my distance from joe most of the time romeo wasn't as close to me as we was before he kept a good distance from me i couldn't understand why sweet little amy was the only one who i took pity on she was the black sheep in the family it wasn't much of a family to me but they had still paid some attention to me but poor amy was like if<p>

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><p>has not existed i began to spend quite alot of time with amy taking her shopping movies she even went with me to work sometimes me and amy had shared a very special brother sister bond after i moved in to my new room amy began helping me move all of my stuff in she loved calypso she spent most of her time with me in my room she began reading my old car manual that delmon had got for me awhile back she started asking questions about cars which i found unusual for a little girl to be so interested in cars but i didn't care i<p>

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><p>enjoyed amy's company alot she knew how much i loved her older sister lulu she began asking me questions about our relationship why did we spilt up if i still loved her if she still loved me i didn't quite know how to answer the little girl she was very bright for her age little amy at only eight years old was so curious about my life and my love for lulu i have not told her everything that happen in my life i didn't want her to know the horrors that i suffered in life we had only spoken of how many families i had how they treated me what it<p>

* * *

><p>was like growing up in an orphanage i didn't want to tell little amy this but she was so curious and had no friends to talk with she had once told me i was more of a brother then her own i felt like i was important to a very special little girl amy had often talked about her mother and father not treating her like a part of this family i tried to comfort her the best way i could she hated it there as much as i did lulu and myself was the only two people that had paid attention to little amy i had promised her one day when i get married and<p>

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><p>move out i would take her with me and raise her as my daughter little amy had prayed every night for that day to come as soon as possible amy had made me realized what it would be like to have a family how it would feel to be protective of a young one ever since then i had often wondered what it was like to have a real family i couldn't ask leon because it was almost as if he didn't have one naya only had her mother lulu<p>

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><p>was just like me i would cry at night wondering why i couldn't have a family why no one loved me why my mother had abandoned me what was i to do with my life where would i be what would i do who would i meet painful memories haunted me i began to have mental break downs more and more often i started taking drugs smoking pot drinking lulu had been very upset with me every night i would come home drunk as a skunk beating on her to let my out my anger as to why she left me i began to hate leon feeling he took her from me i have spoke those very words to him i told him me and lulu was together at one point we began to<p>

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><p>fist fight alot mostly out of my jealously towards him one night was a party going on at one of lulu's friends house everyone was going i did not want to go i hated people couldn't stand the site of them i had more then twenty girlfriends if i had met a girl there all i would do is use her for sex girls were too scared to love me the way lulu did i did not want to love anyone anymore leon had forced me to go with him and lulu i didn't<p>

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><p>feel like getting dressed for some stupid party but leon ordered he was going through my closet to see what i would wear i couldn't care less i just wanted to get this done and over with leon had thought we should dress almost the same he picked out long baggy dark blue jeans with one chain came across my hip to my knee a long black t-shirt under a black hooded sweatshirt along with black and white high tops my<p>

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><p>suggested i wear my hair down parted on one side with a base ball hate slightly tilted along with my hood on as he called it this style was emo slash gangster i thought i looked like a black man leon had on black baggy pants with a white tank top and black and white shoes his hair was down like mine along with the same hate i had on as we were smoking our cigarettes waiting for lulu we made small talk lulu had finally come dressed in a mini black tight skirt a light pink sweater vest followed by a white shirt with a collar with black stilettos<p>

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><p>her hair was down wavy full of volume her makeup was not too light not too heavy she was truly a very pretty preppy girl i took one look at her then looked away i didn't want to see something beautiful was once mine that had been taken from me she quickly rushed to leon for a kiss leon had run his hand through her body after seeing that i rushed into the car waiting for them we drove in silents we pulled up to the party as we walked in the house was shaking from the loud music that had been played everyone had their eyes on<p>

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><p>us i heard someone mumbling something but didn't care i went straight to where the drinks were i stood alone suddenly a black guy had walked up to me "nice hate man" he said i looked away "thanks" i said in reply "what you are you drinking?" he asked "whiskey and red bull try it" i gave him my drink to try he quickly spit it out "whoa that's strong shit man!" he yelled i had no reply "what's your name?" he asked i did not<p>

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><p>want to give him my real name because i was ashamed of who i was "leon" i said he put out his hand for a shake "i'm devon come hang out with me and my friends" he said i followed him to where he had been staying his friends were trying to talk to me asking questions but i kept to myself "look at that guy with that girl they make an odd couple" he said pointing at leon and lulu who had been making out in the corner "that's my sister and my friend" i said "that's your sister? she's beautiful" he said with surprised i nodded and walked away from irritation seeing leon's hands all over my girl i drank shot after shot after shot after<p>

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><p>shot shot's shot's shot's shot's shot's i decided to get so drunk that night from anger shot after shot i threw the shot glass in the wall it busting no one had paid attention i seen devon walking up to me "yo leon i gotta girl that wants to meet you" he said i grabbed his arm and walked him to where everyone was dancing "do you know how to dance" i asked he nodded "teach me afew steps " i demanded devon started showing me poping and locking it i picked up his moves quickly he was surprised on how quick i learn we began to have a<p>

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><p>battle everyone looking at us as we tore up that dance room "yo! emo got moves!' devon shouted lulu and leon started as their jaw's at the floor "where did he learn to dance like that?" lulu asked leon shook his head "i don't know but i can tell he's dead drunk other wise he wouldn't dance" leon said after me and devon finished dancing he then thought me a hand shake i found funny i thought i wondered why devon had<p>

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><p>started talking to me in the first place we were total opposites devon came from bling big baggy clothes and fried chicken i came from skinny jeans band tees high tops and piercings but somehow we had a good time for a little i drank more and more and more i suddenly had the urge to vomit i did a little in front of everyone leon and lulu caught me doing so they both rushed to me leon had placed my arm around his walking me to the bathroom as lulu followed he took off my jacket and my hate i began to vomit leon's hands around my<p>

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><p>stomach holding me so i won't fall i had to vomit more but nothing would come up leon had hit my stomach from behind hard i had vomit come up as i waddled a little to gain my balance lulu gasped with worry "are you alright now?" leon asked "no i want to go home" i barely spoke leon's arm around my waist holding me so i won't fall my arm around his shoulder to gain balance he walked me slowly to the car my head leaned<p>

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><p>back i found it hard to breathe we went home leon made sure i was okay before he went home "leon why don't you stay here with us" lulu said leon shook his head and kissed lulu good night he would call in the morning to check on me "i love you lulu" leon said " i love you too leon" lulu replied i felt my heart break in a thousand pieces lulu had quickly helped me up the stairs to her room undressed me for a hot bath she began<p>

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><p>pooring warm water on my head my head leaned back against the tub to relax the wet hair in my face didn't bother me lulu brushed the wet hair from my face i felt relaxed she promised she would be right back to get a pair of sweat pants t-shirt underthings and a pair of socks for me she locked the door behind her so no one would bother me after she came in she slowly helped me rise from the tub dried me off with a warm bath towel put my clothes on and blow dried my hair she found it frustrating my hair was always in my face "sleep<p>

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><p>with me tonight so i make sure your okay" she said i nodded she helped me in bed she began to undress in her bra and panties only my eyes tried to widen but i was too exhausted lulu had explained to get up early for her modeling shoot in the morning she got in bed with me she was on one side i on the other i crawled up to her wrapping my arms around her my head against her breast her hand petting me kissing my head i<p>

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><p>found that very position so soothing so peaceful i also found that when i cuddle up to her like this i did not need medicine to sleep it was if lulu had something special to put my mind at peace we soon heard a loud bang on the door "where is he!" joe had yelled i rose in fear my arms grasped lulu so tight i began to breathe heavy i come up to lulu so close as if she was the only thing that would save my life from him "i don't<p>

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><p>know joe your drunk and i'm not decent now go away joe" lulu shouted he banged on the door again only this time louder i began to moan in fear "are you fucking him!" he shouted lulu sighed with irritation 'i'm on my period joe i am not in the mood for your shit now go away before i bleed on you" she shouted louder joe had finally left i slowly began to position myself as i was before with lulu she had began to pet me again "don't worry baby it's okay" she said in a soft tone i wanted to speak but i couldn't i had to ask this question<p>

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><p>"do you really love him' i demanded "yes but you know why" she said in reply nothing came from me it was what i had always thought she only loved him because he reminded her of me that told me she still loved me the same way i loved her we soon fell asleep in the middle of the night i have awaken jerking myself up holding my head screaming and crying hysterically lulu had rushed for my medicine shoved them in my mouth<p>

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><p>i began kicking and screaming far worse then i ever have lulu quickly grasped my head had placed me on her chest rubbing my head trying to keep my calm after afew long moments i had finally relaxed lulu began to cry wondering what was wrong with me i have had yet another mental breakdown the next morning i went to work on a bad hangover later that day i came home from work i walked in the house to find joe beating on<p>

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><p>lulu my eyes full with rage i charged towards joe tackling him to the ground my i buried my fist in his face hit after hit after hit his fist aimed for my face knocking me down i quickly rose to charge again our fight was brutal our blood was on each other it wasn't long before romeo had grabbed joe from me chester soon came after and grasped my hair kicked the back of my knee knocking me down to my knees he placed cuffs around my wrists romeo had placed joe in cuffs holding him back my our eyes fixed on each other my teeth grind with<p>

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><p>anger chester had aimed a gun at my head "make one more move and i'll shoot" chester said i had calmed my anger i breathe with rage chester had hit me in the head with the gun i had become unconscious five hours later i found myself in lulu's arms i got up to look at her "are you okay" i asked she nodded i rose from the bed "i can't stay here anymore i'm sorry you have leon he is your love now you or this family don't need me anymore" i said as i walked out to pack my things lulu tried to stop me but i couldn't bare anymore of this pain and suffering she began to cry and beg for me not to leave i took one last look at her and walked out the door i had enough money to get an airplane ticket i have decided to go back home i told myself i would find a job a place to live before i left i told leon where i was going i thanked him for everything and i would<p>

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><p>soon write to him he beg for me not to leave but i looked away he drove me to the airport i said my goodbyes got on my way to Lyon France when i got there i stayed at a hotel until i found a place of my own i began searching afew weeks later i found an apartment and a job at a local diner i started to think maybe now things would finally fall in place for me i found my mother's grave brought flowers and began to cry for two hours things seem to be going good it wasn't long before i started missing her everything around me reminded me of her lulu had never left my thoughts if she ever asked me how many times have she crossed my mind i would say only once because she never left my thoughts everything i did she was right there in my<p>

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><p>head i couldn't sleep at night thinking nothing but of her one night i came home burst out with tears three months away from her was unbearable i cried everyday for her my heart had finally told me i do truly love and need her the more i broke away from her the more i fell in love with her i decided to go back to her that night i arrived back in america i had called leon he was extremely excited to found me being back he hugged me so tight so long i felt he would kill me of hugging me so tight we drove to lulu's house leon had afew things to take care of and he would soon call on me i walked to the stairs and knocked on the door amy had<p>

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><p>opened the door i dropped my bags and picked her up hugging her amy's face had brighten with laughter screaming he's back! lulu had soon running from the living room to see me her eyes filled with tears a smile on her face i rushed to her placing my arms around her kissing her over and over and over her arms around my neck "i missed you too much i'm so happy your home" she cried we kissed again "your killing me you took my heart from me i can't live without you lulu" i said as we kissed again that day i spent with lulu romeo and<p>

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><p>little amy i have discovered lulu was no longer with leon because he had attacked her from being too drunk i was too happy to be with lulu to even think of killing leon more weeks passed lulu had still did not wanting to be with me after what i had been through there was no way i was ever going to leave lulu again no matter what she did<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

I had decided to dye my hair all black and not to wear contacts anymore i put on a pair of blue jeans a white t-shirt a black hooded sweatshirt i had spiked my hair placing a black band with white skulls around my head the front of my hair covered half my face after i dressed i decided to take calypso to a pet store to buy him

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><p>afew toys since he has been through alot with me i got in the car calypso stuck his head out the window i decided to turn on the radio for music one song i heard that i took a very high liking to New Medicines By Legion Of Doom it had become my favorite song of all time i got out of the car applying calypso's leash we<p>

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><p>walked into the pet store he went crazy seeing all the toys and other pets seeing how excited he was brought joy to my face i bought him three toys a new bed and afew chew toys after we finished we headed home for lunch i walked in seeing nancy yelling at me always i had walked passed her into my room i heard a<p>

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><p>small knock on my door "go away" i said the door opened "i want you to meet someone" lulu had said i nodded we drove making small talk we arrived at a house i thought it was going to be a friend or a girl lulu had wanted me to meet the same black guy i seen at that party had walked out rushing to lulu kissing her he<p>

* * *

><p>shot a look at me "i remember those eyes" he said "this is my brother raphael devon" devon looked at me with confusion "you lied to me about your name" he said 'i didn't lie i simply gave you my middle name" i said with a tone of irritation "oh well it's all cool" he said devon began to talk to me i had nothing to say to him he tried asking me questions about the weather and so still nothing came from me i looked away pretending<p>

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><p>devon didn't existed he suddenly grabbed my shoulder and spun me around "what is your problem punk" he said with an attitude i pushed his hand off my shoulder 'don't touch me nigger" i said as i walked away i heard devon bad mouthing me to lulu as i walked away i suddenly heard him say something that put anger in<p>

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><p>me i walked up to him and pushed him aside "what did you say?" i demanded "i said your a hateful mother fucker" he replied with a smirk one thing led to another we soon began fighting knowing i was taller then devon he only stood five foot ten he had beat me to a pulp left me with a black eye and sore ribs i was not about to give up as i charged to him devon had got in stance and side kicked me i fell backwards to the<p>

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><p>ground i couldn't get up for afew moments lulu had rushed to me helping me up i pushed her away knocking her down i got up and walked away "yeah that's right walk away punk" devon shouted as i walked away i knew from then i hated devon even more so that he was with lulu i decided to stay with leon for the day we went out i told him about devon and what had happen leon shook his head in anger the next time i seen devon we got into it again only this time he took it easy on me that only made me more furious i tried and<p>

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><p>tried to beat him every time i got knocked down i got right back up devon had remarked that i would never beat him but i wasn't just about to give up suddenly lulu had caught us fighting again she got in the middle devon had almost hit her but he stopped she slapped him right across the face walked to me then slapped me i thought for a moment how could someone so small so beautiful hit so hard lulu began to yell at us not<p>

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><p>to fight anymore soon she cried devon rushed to hold her kissing her tears away as i once did i walked away i knew from there me and devon was not about to get along lulu had decided to stay with devon at his house for afew days i hated the fact of his hands on her kissing having sex it drove me crazy but i knew there was nothing i could do if she loved him then so be it one night we went to naya's party the house was<p>

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><p>full barely any room to move i hit the spot where the drinks were as always i looked around to see lulu and devon kissing and dancing and drinking it made me sick after i got drunk i waited for devon to be away from lulu when lulu had left for the ladies room i walked up to him and pushed his shoulder devon had taken no interest i pushed again only this time harder "hey! i'm talking to you!" i shouted devon turned to look at me<p>

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><p>"don't mess with me emo" he said i tried to strike him but he caught my attack got me in a lock "you want to fight? alright then lets go outside" he walked me like i was a dog outside his friends followed then threw me and the ground "come on emo fight" he shouted before i could attack his friend had gotten me from behind in a arm lock next thing i know devon had hit every part of my body and face hit after hit after hit after hit i<p>

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><p>started to bleed from my mouth and nose i was done i felt as if i was ready to fall devon had pulled back his fist for one last hit suddenly lulu had came "stop!" she cried i felt humiliated knowing lulu had saved me again devon's friend had let go of me i fell to the ground coughing up blood lulu had rushed to she shot a look at devon 'what the hell is wrong with you devon!" she shouted devon acting all tough "he started it lulu he<p>

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><p>won't learn his lesion!" he shouted back naya came to see what was going on lulu had told naya to help me get into the car while she had a talk with devon "that doesn't mean you had to beat on him so badly devon" lulu said "you think i give a shit about him? i hate your brother and your brother hates me" he shouted pointing his finger at me began to cry "he is my brother and you treat him like that?" she tried to strike him he quickly caught her hand and held it "don't hit me you little shit!" he shouted lulu had gasped with fear she<p>

* * *

><p>suddenly broke free from his grasp "we are over devon" she mumbled as she walked away i caught the look on devon's face it was a look of what have i done to her why did i do that to her devon suddenly caught tears dripping from my eyes he had a sad depressed look on his face we drove home lulu had helped my wounds tonight i was to sleep with her as we got in bed we didn't speak "i'm sorry" i said "don't be sorry i see him for what he is" she kissed my cheek i layed on her soon we were fast asleep the next morning i had<p>

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><p>gone to work i did a horrible job that day because of how bad devon had beaten me when i came home i found no one was home i was alone in this big dark house i layed down on the big long couch and turned on the television an hour later i heard a knock on the front door i opened the door to see devon my hair covered my face to hide the black eye he had given me "if your here to fight i'm not in the mood" as i was closing the door devon had opened the door and walked in "that's not what i'm here for i cam to apologize" he said with<p>

* * *

><p>a sad tone "i don't want or need your apology now get out of my house' i said as i pointed at the door "before i go i have something for you" he said as we walked over to the couch he pulled out a happy meal from McDonalds my eyes widen i quickly grabbed the bag from him he laughed a little at my actions i looked in the bag "what no toy" i asked devon had slapped his head "aw man they forgot to put it in!" he said i laughed a little "i'm kidding um thanks' i said as i looked away and ate my hamburger 'i have something else for you" he said as he took out a model car and gave it to me "your sister has told me you loved cars it was mine when i was younger i thought you might like it" he said as he handed it to me i looked at and began to<p>

* * *

><p>smile it had brighten devon's face to see me smile "look we got off the wrong hand i'm sorry for fighting with you and about last night i shouldn't have beat you so" he said lowering his head "save your sorry for when i beat you" i said with a smirk we both laughed for a moment joe had walked in to find us i began to be on edge devon noticed my nerves acting up "you okay?" he asked i glanced at him with no reply joe had sat down right beside me his hand running through my hair i shot a look at devon with the words help me devon<p>

* * *

><p>knew something wasn't right "hey there raphy how are you doing brought a friend i see" his hand quickly grasped my hair in a tight lock i pulled back a little devon was ready to attack joe had let go and rose "lets go for a walk" devon said we made our way towards the door as we walked down the street "your brother<p>

* * *

><p>seems to be a little rough with you raph" devon said "he's not my brother" i said keeping my head down "so that means-" "i'm adopted" i said devon looked down for a moment "i'm so sorry raph i didn't know" he muttered i had no reply "don't you dare take pity on me" i said devon nodded he had a look on his face that had me wondering was he hiding something.<p> 


	8. Chapter 8

As me and devon walked back home he seem to notice something about me "you have very long legs raph" he said i looked at him for a brief moment "you remind me of a clydesdale horse when you walk i happen to like the clydesdale clump" he said with a small laugh i had nothing to say we continued walking "you would be great for kicking how would you feel if i trained you in martial arts raph" it caught my attention but i

* * *

><p>thought maybe i shouldn't mess with this guy i better keep my distance "i'll think about it" i said we made our way home devon found lulu outside smoking a cigarette lulu was surprise to see me with him devon quickly rushed to lulu as i stood there and watched "lulu baby i'm so so sorry" devon said giving lulu flowers devon<p>

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><p>continued his apology i was abit upset to find lulu accepting it they hugged and kissed for a long moment i made my way into the house ever since that day i found myself spending more time with devon i decided to allow him to teach me martial arts lulu thought it would be a good way for us to get to know each other a<p>

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><p>little better devon was impressed on how quick i catch on devon has taught me moves mostly involving kicking devon knew it would be my best defense me and devon had developed a unusual relationship we were friends then enemies back to friends then enemies i couldn't understand why i liked devon at the same time i hated him for taking what was mine i taught myself to block out that alot and only focus on our<p>

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><p>friendship there was something about devon that i trusted i began to find him more and more like me every day and every day he would bring me a happy meal and always forgot the toy we spent nights over we would laugh and joke about almost everything of course i had the talk with him if he ever hurt lulu he would<p>

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><p>get a good ass kicking from me he promised and stood true to his word t made me happy to see lulu happy with him but on the inside it killed me it destroyed every bit of me i couldn't tell her that i would only seem selfish as long she was happy i was happy atleast tried to be anyway every time lulu would tell devon she loved him i felt pieces of me would tear away watching them hold each other kiss each other do things<p>

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><p>together would tear me apart my heart would ache now and down because of seeing that each night i would cry my tears would become thicker and thicker and thicker i was concern as to why my tears were different i spoke to leon about it he said those are tears of a heartbreak leon was very concern about me as to why i would cry more then i should i had told him my feelings for lulu he had questioned me of alot of things if we<p>

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><p>had sex more then twenty one times if she ever loved me what happen to our relationship after answering leon's questions i have had another mental breakdown i couldn't understand why i would have mental breakdowns nor did i care one day devon came over when we walked in he found me crying i quickly wipe the tears from my eyes devon grabbed my hand from my face "why are you crying" he asked with concern i<p>

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><p>walked away heading for the door he grabbed my shoulder "don't walk away from me" he said his tone a little higher then normal "you wouldn't understand" i said my voice cracking "i will try" devon said i looked at him for a brief moment my eyes filled with tears "there is no trying you either do it or you don't" i said as i<p>

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><p>walked out the door devon followed "alright i will understand just tell me what's wrong" he asked "can i trust you" i said as we walked down the sidewalk "of course your secret is safe with me" devon said as he nodded i took of my shirt to show devon all the scars and beat marks i had around my back and chest devon slowly touched the scar on back "what happen to you..." he asked with a sad tone "you mean what hasn't<p>

* * *

><p>happened to me" i said devon's eyes soon were filled with tears i explained to him about the horrors i been through in life how my mother abandoned me what the word pain truly means something i knew he was hiding had come out devon had explained he share of pain how he went through the school life of horror understanding the feeling of betrayal back stabbed used hurt disappointed now i know why devon had seem<p>

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><p>so heartless towards me me and devon were the world of difference and exactly the same we hugged each other and cried until our eyes bled devon had become my long lost brother i had become the little brother he always wanted every laugh every cry every fight every moment we shared had brought us closer and closer<p>

* * *

><p>and closer devon had truly become my brother but i wondered if we were close enough to tell him my feelings for lulu one night devon had come over to take me and lulu out for dinner as i walked downstairs i found devon kissing lulu waiting for me they didn't notice me standing right by them i felt hot tears steaming down my check as i stood there and watched devon had open his eyes to see me "oops sorry bro" he said<p>

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><p>with a laugh lulu looked at me with sadness devon had notice the looks me and lulu exchanged they were looks that spoke louder then words i wiped the tears from my eyes as we continued our way we drove in silents devon knew there was something suspicious going on between me and lulu as we walked in a very nice and elegant restaurant we sat down it wasn't long before we ordered dinner devon and lulu had<p>

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><p>decided to share dinner i ordered the right side of the menu devon had laughed hysterically at how much i could eat devon sat next to lulu i on the other side of the table my face was down most of the time during dinner lulu had seen how upset i was she decided to sit next to me my face brighten and smiled for the very first time in a long time devon didn't like the idea he knew there was something that was not right about this<p>

* * *

><p>situation me and lulu had laughed made jokes our eyes had not left each others i felt alive again oh how i missed when we would do this i felt life had come rushing back in me my heart and did flips how happy and alive i felt knowing lulu had paid attention to me the way she once did i had a feeling lulu had still loved me the way she acted tonight she looked so beautiful in her pink strapless light pink flowing dress five inches<p>

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><p>above her knee her hair dancing and kissing her face her pink high heels she was just amazing oh how i wanted to kiss her how i wanted to hold her how i wanted to love her as i once did when our food had come i had made a mess of myself eating devon and lulu had eaten like perfect little people they stared at me for a moment i stopped chewing my food suddenly devon had broke out with laughter lulu had decided to eat like<p>

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><p>a beast with me i laughed so hard thinking how could such a beautiful little thing eat like that devon had caught the look in our eyes as we looked directly in each others eyes a small smirk had come to my lips a lulu had on a pretty smile it the urge of kissing was so strong i know i couldn't i went back to eating after we finished dinner me and devon had stepped outside to smoke a cigarette while lulu was talking on the mobile<p>

* * *

><p>phone me and devon were silent for a moment "what's going on here raph" devon said "well we finished dinner and we are outside smoking then-" "i was talking about you and lulu i seen the way you look at her" devon said in a strong tone "it was nothing don't worry about it-" "don't lie to me raph" devon said i looked down for a moment i knew was now or never he had to know what had me and lulu shared.<p> 


	9. Chapter 9

I cleared my throat and straighten my shoulders i began explaining to devon how me and lulu met and how we fell in love and how i still love her. Devon shook his head i felt his anger swell "i'm sure she doesn't love you anymore like that just as a brother nothing more" he explained i covered my ears not wanting to hear those words and shook my head repeating the words "your wrong" devon had pushed my last button my

* * *

><p>anger drove me to grab him by his collar his hands on mine warning me to to strike or he would beat me badly as he once did "you took her from me!" i yelled "she doesn't love you like that!" he yelled back our words had led us to fighting devon on top of me ready to strike "don't make me hurt you raph don't push<p>

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><p>me!" he yelled i looked at him for a brief moment "go ahead it doesn't matter anyway.." i said my voice cracking devon had calmed his temper rising helping me up "i hate you" i said as i walked away my tears followed i have decided to walk home to think for a little when i returned home i went straight to my room to shut the world out four months have passed since that night nothing has changed lulu was with<p>

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><p>devon she loved him and he loved her where would i stand my reason to live had been taken from me killing myself wouldn't change a thing i was meant to suffer i have accepted to suffer all my life since that day i continued working at my job kept to myself i felt my life wasting away one day i had decided to meet with naya when i arrived at her house to take her for lunch she had immediately suspect i was not the same i had<p>

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><p>changed in a very depressed way "hm sit down raphael" naya said as pat her hand against the sofa she was sitting on i sat down slowly by her "what happen to you your look like your dying" she muttered i had no reply my eyes glaring at the ground "raphael look at me when i'm talking to you" she demanded i did was in my own world i have not looked at her when she asked i did not have anything to say or do i kept to myself naya knew things were extremely bad she had never seen me this depressed she was worried "it's lulu isn't<p>

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><p>it" she said with a sad tone i nodded tears began to fill her eyes "i can't stand seeing you like this raphael" she cried i continued glaring at the ground there was nothing i could say to her i knew naya had a special love for me but it was more friendly then romantic naya continued to cry she got up from the sofa to get a napkin to wipe her tears when she returned she had a stern look in her eyes "if you want her so badly then<p>

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><p>go get her" she said my eyes still fixed on the ground "there's nothing i can do she doesn't love me the she once did anymore" i said with a sad tone "your wrong" naya said that caught my attention "what?" i asked "she still loves you very much raphael" she said in reply "how do y-" "ask her to marry you that is if you truly love her" marry? was i ready for marriage? no i was not but it was the only way to have her for myself if she<p>

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><p>loved me the way naya said she did i rushed back home as fast as i could i'm going to ask her to marry me today! i was excited and nervous my stomach did flips all these emotions had cause me to vomit lulu was not home i became disappointed but that didn't stop me i waited all day in her room for her when she final came home i sat there in the dark waiting for her to turn the lights on as she did so she gasped "you scared me raph is something wrong?" she asked i got up from my seat walking towards her "we need to talk" i said as i<p>

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><p>began walking back and fort "i need to know something right here and now lulu and don't lie to me i need to know where i stand" i demanded she nodded "do you or do you not love me" i asked she hesitated for my her answer "of course i do i never stopped but-" "i don't want to hear that! no more excuses lulu!" i yelled<p>

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><p>continuing walking back and fort "what about everything we shared lulu all the laughs and cries the sex we had our love for each other all of that meant nothing to you!" i screamed her eyes began to be flooded with tears "of course it did raph! not one second goes by that i don't think of you your killing me everyday i look at you i day inside knowing i can never have you!" she cried "then why are you with him!" i fired back lulu had<p>

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><p>wiped her eyes with the back of her little hand "because our love is forbidden raphael i would give anything to love you again" she cried i slowly walked up to her holding her as i once did i longed to hold her in my arms my heart began racing and pounding so hard so loud like it never has before i slowly placed her hand on my heart "this is the way you make me feel about you" i said losing my breath she grabbed my hand and<p>

* * *

><p>placed it on her heart it felt the same as mine she looked in my eyes with a small smile i placed my forehead against hers our eyes closed we both couldn't breath "marry me lulu" i whispered her eyes widen as she backed away i returned to her repeating those very words "marry me lulu marry me" our hands began to touch our fingers locked i slowly brought myself to kiss her gently and slowly after i had kissed i asked one<p>

* * *

><p>last time "marry me lulu" i asked "yes yes a thousand times yes" she said with tears and a wide smile i picked her up in my arms to kiss her i had spun with her in my arms of happiness the next day we went to shop for a dress and a tuxedo once we did we had told everyone we all went in church romeo walking lulu down the aisle dressed in a huge wedding dress it came off the shoulder covered in beads and crystals her<p>

* * *

><p>hair had been up in a bun her veil looked as if it were fit for a princess lulu looked so stunning people wanted her to model wedding gowns for them i stood there next to leon my best man in a black tuxedo my hair in my face i decided to wear my converse i didn't care for what i wore i just wanted to be married to the woman i love as romeo brought her we waited a long moment when the time came to place the ring on her finger i<p>

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><p>had placed my grandmother's wedding ring that my mother had given to me before she left after we kissed we were now husband and wife and year later our son Xavier Sykes was born he had the color of my eyes and the hair color of lulu he truly was the most beautiful thing we made me and lulu had more then one child after five years we ended up with four and more to come me and xavier had taken a walk one fine afternoon<p>

* * *

><p>while my wife stayed home with the other children xavier was now five years old i held his hand as we walked down the street "daddy what was it like when you was my age?" xavier asked "i'll tell you someday son" i said in reply today is a very very special day today is the day my suffering came to an end today is my last walk<p> 


End file.
